Okay, here’s some real talk.
I’m 24 years old, and have an extremely busy schedule. I work 50 hours a week at a finance company, I volunteer Wednesdays and Sundays at my local church, I volunteer Saturdays at the Humane Society, and still try to hit the gym twice a week. Most week days, it’s go-go-go from 4:30 (yes, as in AM) to 9:30. Most of the time, I like my life, but recently I’ve also started to feel very tired. I’ve set some personal goals for myself this year, but I’m struggling with fitting them into my crazy-busy schedule.
Here’s what I’ve been aiming at:
I want to get back into writing so, so much – but by the time dinner’s cooked, I find myself out of energy to do more than plop down on the couch and watch endless re-runs and let my mind go numb for a while. And the next morning I find that I am dissatisfied with how I spent my evening.
I want to read my Bible more. Spending time in the Lord’s word is so important. Still, I find myself struggling to carve some time out everyday to spend time in the Word. Usually, I try and read a chapter right before bed, but sometimes my eyes are so heavy I don’t let what I’m reading sink in.
I also want to read more books. I’ve always loved reading, but I don’t think I’ve read a book for pleasure in the last few months – and to me that’s disheartening. I find such joy in plunging into the adventures someone else has so fantastically created. And yet, I often find myself pushing aside my love of reading to accomplish chores or to get a few extra minutes of sleep.
I’ve also been able to accomplish some goals I’ve set for my self this year.
For the first time in my life, I’m trying to be better in-tune with my body. And in order to start this process with a bang, I took a drastic approach. Currently, I am on day 27 of the Whole30. I am doing this in hopes of regaining a hold on my diet. Because, let’s be honest, my office has a ton of free cookies. I’ve been learning that I can say “no, thank you” when a colleague offers me a leftover box of pizza from a department lunch. And I’ve learned that I enjoy saying “no” to offers of free foods. However, I will be glad when the 30 days are over. I recognize that this is a very restrictive way to eat, and that long-term it may be detrimental to my mental health. Unless my body has negative reactions to certain foods groups, I think eliminating entire categories from my diet makes eating into a bigger ordeal than it should be. Instead, what I hope to take away from this program is a better awareness of what I’m putting into my body. From there, I think I can learn to enjoy to food I eat more.
I also got a gym membership at the start of the year. For a few weeks, I struggled with the idea of getting a membership. I didn’t want to be one of those people. You know, the person that gets a gym membership at the start of the New Year, swears until they’re blue in the face that they’re going to go to the gym four times a week, and then is never seen again once the New Year’s hype dies away. But at the same time, my new schedule at work meant I had an extra hour in the evenings. And I wanted to make sure I was using it effectively. So I made a compromise to myself; I would get the gym memberships, but I would set reasonable goals for myself. So I go to the gym 2 days a week, and instead of running for half an hour (I’m not much of a runner) I amp my incline up to 12% and speed walk. I try to listen to my body, and not push too hard. My goal is to be healthy, not become athletic. And I’ve surprise myself with how much I enjoy that hour I spend at the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays – for me, right now, its just the right amount of time.
This month, I’m learning to extend some grace to myself. I live a busy life, and that’s okay. Sometimes, I’m not going to be able to accomplish all of the goals I set out for myself – and that’s okay too. I’m learning to forgive myself when I can’t accomplish all I think I should be able to, and to try again tomorrow. With some time, I’m hoping to find a schedule that works for me in this season of life and be satisfied with all I have going on right now.
And, maybe learn to laugh a little at myself along the way.